One of the more ironic aspects of my life are that the most meaningful and pleasurable times of my life was caring for Joel-even when I knew that he was going to die. Life became simple, even though one of the most tragic experiences of having a child pre-decease one’s parents was about to occur. Spending time with one’s loved ones, touching and cuddling, just being together, was the most important thing. It still is.

Because you were my first child, and at that time, my only child, your life taught me a lot. Although there is no doubt I wish you were alive and healthy, you have brought forth a clarity as to what truly is important. The ability to bounce back into the happy boy, after a painful procedure was awe-inspiring. The fact that you never were afraid of people, despite the fact that many people had to impose themselves onto you through their invasive medical procedures. Your life was unfortunately difficult and painful, but one would never have known it.

I sold my business four years ago, and now work at the local Blood Center. Although it is by far not the perfect organization, I enjoy my work, for it helps me keep your image and meaning of life alive and my life in the proper perspective.

One aspect of my job, that convinces me that people do not have the proper values in life are when they get angry or do not donate blood because of time constraints. "He who saves one life, saves the whole world." As if the lawyer or accountant, who bills at $300 per hour is more important… That $300 dollars has no significance of whether one lives or dies. The availability of blood, blood components and/or bone marrow for a patient can determine whether one survives. Although I hate to say this, maybe more people need to experience some tragedy to get their heads on straight.

Perhaps the saddest legacy of your life, Joel, is that you have impacted not only your parents, but your two brothers, Adam and Mitchell, and your sister, Sophie. It is unfortunate that you will have never met any of them.

I love you, and miss you. You are in my thoughts daily.

Love,

DAD